Friday, 4 November 2016

the matter of the heart is complicated

I'm wondering, if I have no luck in love. I had had someone who told me he liked me before, and we dated for like two weeks before I broke things off because apparently, I wasn't ready. In what sense, I don't even know. I liked him, but it was very complicated. My heart and mind were in a mess. But until now, I keep thinking of him. So often that I'm questioning myself if I actually do have feelings for him. As of this moment, this second, I think I do like him. A lot. And if I'm given another chance, I'll take it.

BUT,

he has moved on, I heard. And my heart kinda hurts thinking of it. I heard he actually put in efforts for the next girl he approached after me, gifts and all. I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't feel sad. I am sad. And jealous too. Not only of her and his efforts towards her, but jealous of other people around me who gets to feel what it's like to have someone to call yours and spend sweet time with. We still talk to each other as good friends but I kinda hope he has teeny tiny little affection towards me still. And if we are only to stay as friends, then it's okay too. If it's not meant to be, then it will not be.

bye.